Although no one cares to watch the Super Bowl anymore (except Swifty, Mr. Estephan), here are my predictions for the big game.

Kansas Swifty Chiefs vs San Francisco 49ers (49ers 37 – 31)

Kansas Swifty: The Chiefs have a strong team, with Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, and seemingly favorable officiating on their side. While they may put up a good fight, the forces of humanity and goodness may prevent them from emerging victorious. Kadarius Toney, who appeared to have bet against the team, hasn’t been allowed to play since. Additionally, Charles Omenehu suffered a torn ACL during the Ravens game. While there are no significant injuries, team chemistry appears to be a concern. Andy Reid expressed some worries after the first practice, and Rashee Rice has been dealing with ankle issues.

San Francisco 49ers: At this point in time I believe everybody, besides Mr. Estephan and Kansas City are cheering for the 49ers. With Brock Purdy back to form, the 49ers’ offense is an explosive force, boasting weapons like Deebo Samuel, Brandon Aiyuk, and George Kittle in the receiving game, and the league’s best running back in Christian McCaffrey. The 49ers are likely to follow the strategy that the Ravens employed against the Chiefs, focusing on establishing a dominant ground game. Their offensive line is one of the best in the league, and McCaffrey is more than capable of making play after play if needed. As of now, the 49ers have no significant injuries to report.