Mr. Kroh: What Do You Really Know?

I only knew of one teacher before ever stepping foot into Saint Xavier, and I’m sure you could quickly guess who this teacher is. He’s been teaching Tigers for over 52 years, and during this time has become infamous for stressing the hearts and minds of his many students, but how much of what you’ve heard is actually true?

The most important quote at the beginning of Coach Kroh’s class is, “Everything is true, unless it’s not.” This could be the same for all of the rumors and mystique surrounding his course, unless it’s not. I hope to discern facts from fiction by finding out what students have heard regarding his class and how much of it is actually true.

I am currently enrolled in his English 4 course, so I began my search by asking my classmates what their reaction was when they learned Mr. Kroh would be their teacher. One student stated, “When I got my schedule this summer I immediately handed it over to my older brother and asked him how it looked, and after a brief glance he begins laughing and simply says, ‘Kroh’s gonna eat you alive.’” 

This was a common answer for most of my classmates, who all had their own sense of panic and worry for the piles of classwork to come. Friends from my English 3 class last year admitted to me that they moved up to AP this year to hopefully avoid the stress of Coach Kroh’s class. Anyone hoping for their last year to be a “senior slide” was surely disappointed after seeing Mr. Kroh on their schedule.

When I asked about any notable rumors they had heard about Coach Kroh, the students had much to share. One student said he had heard from an upperclassman last year that Kroh makes you write whole essays without using vowels and keeps you reading three novels at a time. 

Another classmate claimed you could tell what Kroh’s plans are based on his apparel. He said that if you spot Mr. Kroh wearing a bow tie that there will most definitely be a quiz in class that very day. He even said Kroh will keep a bow tie in his pocket to quickly change his tie for a pop quiz. 

The biggest problem I’ve noticed with Kroh’s students is that they believe they can actually outsmart him. Some students would rather not play than try to win, which will subsequently result in a failure. The only way to truly go about taking Kroh’s course is to stay readily prepared for class and to pray for mercy. 

Ultimately, one thing is true — if a student can make it through Mr. Kroh’s course, then he can make it through anything academically. Kroh’s graduates are prepared for most any writing class and have learned the importance of organization and time management.

I finally confronted Coach Kroh about the rumors and legends surrounding his classroom, and I asked him what advice he would give to underclassmen lucky enough to be placed in his class. He simply said, “Nothing in this piece is true. Unless it is.”